I JUST DON’T KNOW 😭

It’s my birthday y’all

You see,time seems to be rushing out
Everything is moving so fast and I can’t even have a grasp of anything….
..the more we grow older,
it just hit me that the age of those above us is running out,
Parents getting old,
Siblings getting married,
Loved ones passing away,
Newborns knocking into this crazy world not aware of the evils of it’s existence,
Friends turning to strangers
…. and enemies becoming those we run to when in need…
..those we thought held us in their hearts turn out that,
the memory of us to their lives only comes up when they come across a post or a photo
…posted by the few who never get tired of lifting and dusting us….
..as I stand here,somethings are clear to me:
~Time is all that we got and don’t,
~You are all you got,
~No one cares whether you good, survive or not,
~You are always on your own
*Lilacmwesh🔥

MOTHER ❣️

Attention!! Attention!!✋
All the the souls of earth and those of the universe🌍
Angels and spirits be calm 🤍
Hades and his demons remain still🕸️
I bring to you my star ✨
Not just a star,my living ⭐
Yes,one that has breath 🕊️
You are always there when I need you and that is never in doubt🌼
When am trying to work things out,your watch never leaves me😚
When troubled and sad, comforting like no other👌
You always make sure I know how much you love me😉
Your advices keep me standing and pushing💪
For no reason you hug me🥺
I love you mama❣️
I care for you my angel❤️
I know you will always be there and that thought makes me strong 💎
You are an angel in the shape of my mum❣️
~Lilacmwesh🔥

THE HATE🖤

               I hate it….
….the way you are always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh,even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you are not around,and the fact that you didn’t call
Oh!not that you didn’t,it’s just how you never do
…but mostly,I just hate the way I don’t hate you,..,.. not even close
                not even a little bit
                not even at all
But as long as the dice is still rolling
….life is beautiful,just as you are❤️
                   ~Lilacmwesh🔥

CHAOS IN HIS HEAD 💔

He sat alone
Alone at home
Where his screams were silent
But his mind was violent
His insecurities hid deep inside
And they indeed ate him alive.

A tear rolled down his face
As his heart began to race
He took his blade and tore his skin
Where his depression lied deep within..
This went on for days,months,years..
..until he cried his very last tears.

He decided that he had had enough
The world around him was much too tough
And his life was dark and void
He took out a gun to his head
…….and congratulations society,
He’s dead.

~Lilacmwesh🔥

UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME❤️

Life is beautiful! Is it?Do you see life as beautiful as they describe it? Maybe the one i live doesn’t fit that statement. But i tend to believe it is. Take a good view of life positively,you will think the same way. Maybe you won’t,but you might.
Crazy!Am I? Do i look crazy to you? Yes,i know i do. What if i told you am not,you still won’t listen. But am just human.You keep judging from the things i did when i was growing,and that’s okay. Am not justifying my deeds though.I know i do things that seem senseless to you,that are absurd in a way and appear normless in this society we live in. Am not crazy,am just young and still exploring. Am still learning about life and trying new things to try and understand why people do certain things,why some things turn out in some ways,how people behave in ways that are hard to explain. Am just trying to learn.
Evil! What a sick word to call someone?! I have been termed as such so often,but am sorry i appeared so. It has never been my wish to hurt a soul,especially those that wished me heaven. How i wish i could take back the words i said,wish i could take back time and change a little things,feel a few moments for sometime,treat certain people with more value and respect,but sadly it can’t happen. It’s my wish and hope you all are happy and you are where you wished to be.I still hold you close to my heart than i ever did.
Lost!! For heavens sake am not. I believe haven’t lost my track yet. My mind is still focused despite all these chaos of life. It’s my prayer i will make it one day. Wish me well,don’t treat me bad or hate me coz they told you to,am not that bad as they describe it,they wouldn’t tell of my good side,they won’t tell you that i was once their pillar,i gave them hope,i encouraged them celebrated with them their wins. Even if i wronged them,we all do mistakes,am not perfect either.
But i won’t force you to see the good side of me. It’s up to you,it’s your choice. Choose to live with the picture the world will give you,the picture of me they have painted ill,the one they have trashed with blames and made it of a dark nature.Or choose to live with the human me,the nature of living where we fall and rise,we try and fail but learn,where we make mistakes and forgive,where we cry together and lift each other up,where we dont pretend to be immortals with no feelings,because we are human and flawed.
So,i think life is beautiful if you dont get hard on yourself,if you live to the best you can and allow yourself to grow and adapt.Am not crazy,am not evil,am not reckless,am not lost and am not sickminded.Am just human living a normal life and trying to be human. So if i ever did you wrong,am sorry,i was young and naive,and maybe nervous and anxious about this life,i was tryna balance these equations of life and still am tackling some puzzles.
This is me,am not who they say i am,i know am a good person,am nice,i got a heart and a life to live,and i will always wish the best for everyone.
AM ME❤️

BELIEVE

Life, is the thing i consider most valuable and you should never waste it. Being raised by a religious mum and a disciplinarian father helped shape who i am. I have learnt to always trust in God and believing in myself. We are offered with many opportunities by nature.
Learn to appreciate every little bit of progress you make, that small achievement you made, embrace it. Believe in yourself because no one will ever do it best than yourself.
Enjoy your youthful years, go out and make new friends, have fun, explore new places and discover new things, but all in all, always know your limits, dont let anyone ever pin you down. I believe it all begins with the mind. Keep away from negativity for it might kill your dreams, don’t entertain people who only see the bad side of you. I mean keep close those who help you grow and encourage you to move forward. And if no one believes in you,DO IT YOURSELF, just hold the vision and trust the process,work in silence and let the results shout.
I am pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in criminology which has always been my passion. However it has always remained my father’s nightmare as he always dreamed of his daughter becoming a Pharmacist or some Mathematician somewhere. I would suggest that in every decision you make always follow your heart, it knows what’s best for your soul. But it might not work best for you all the times, sometimes parents know better,. We’ve exceptions in life.
What am trying to say is,BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

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